Field Trip

So these Red Herring stopped by.

One of the Red Herring said, "We're on a Field Trip."

I said, "I don't see a field anywhere."

"That's, probably, for the best, " replied the herring.

Generally speaking, Red Herring, in an open field, will die of Exposure. Red Herring are much better off in the Murky Depths.

Cowboy Out of Nowhere

The Mysterious Cowboy rides the Seven Seas.
The Mysterious Cowboy is tracking the The Truth;
The Mysterious Cowboy is herding Reason;
The Mysterious Cowboy is trying to rope "Why?"

More Toast

There's been a further breakthrough on the Well Toasted Bread front.

The Court of Law has maintained their stance that a graphical depiction of Real Toast is too stimulating for a general audience, such as has access to Official Report. However, they are allowing me to show the some Well Toast Bread, as long as I follow certain Strict Guidelines.

The Strict Guidelines are:

• The picture must be altered sufficiently so that it is obvious to the audience that the toast is fictional in nature.


• I may not show both Toasted Bread and a Bread Toaster in the same picture.


• I must provide an appropriate warning, that the picture includes a depiction of Well Toasted Bread.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PICTURE HAS BEEN RATED WT FOR WELL TOASTED. IT CONTAINS A GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF WELL TOASTED BREAD. IF YOU HAVE NOT EATEN BREAKFAST, OR ARE OTHERWISE HUNGRY, IT IS ADVISED THAT YOU DO NOT VIEW THE FOLLOWING PICTURE.


This toast has been alter from it's original format, in accordance with the Strict Guidelines specified by the Court of Law.

Toast (finale)

The Court of Law has upheld the decision that my picture of Well Toasted Bread is, indeed, too controversial and I am still Not Allowed to show it (upon pain of microwaving).

...

They also ordered me to show a spiral.

When I told the Court of Law that I had already shown a spiral (last week), they said I hadn't shown it in the Proper Context and that people had probably gotten the Wrong Idea about spirals.

They said that spirals are Spinning in Control and Having a lot of Fun and are Not at all Confused.

I told them that was Baloney.

They fined me a thousand dollars.

...

Finally, the Court of Law ordered me to publish the Official Information about the Approved Toast Picture.

"A study has shown that 64% of people find the Approved Toast Picture (ATP) to be Rather Pleasant (RP). Thirty-six percent (36%) of people where microwaved, On High, for ten seconds.

"A subsequent study found that 100% of survivors (of the first study) found the ATP to be RP."

-- Court of Law

Toast (con't)

The Court of Law has ruled that I am allowed to show Approved Photos of Previously Toasted Bread; pending a decision on showing my picture of Well Toasted Bread.

This is the photo I was given.

They said it "conveyed the Proper Positive Message" about "Toasted Bread" without "overtly stimulating" the viewer into a "state of uncontrollable, Original Thought."

Toast

I was hoping to show you a picture of Well Toasted Bread, but it was deemed too controversial. So, this is the best I was able to do.

Luckily, the toaster wasn't also censored.

You've got to Count your Blessings.

I filed an appeal in the Court of Law, to have the Decision Lifted, on the premise that it is my right to Express my Toast.

Hopefully, you'll soon be treated to a delicious picture of Well Toasted Bread.

...

Twelve servings of Smooth Peanut Butter stand by.

Mardi Gras

They held a Mardi Gras Night at my local at my Local Pub.

A couple of months too late, but I'm not complaining.

A good time anytime--don't have to wait for assigned dates.