More Harold

Harold the Moose drank all my wine while I was at work.
At least, that's what I assume happened to it.
I certainly don't remember drinking it.
It must have been Harold.

Pills (finale)

So I'm dead now.

It turns out that quack was right, and now I'm dead.

Those pills, though, they're great. I'm still taking them. I tried to give them up, but I couldn't. I was like, "I must be Addicted to the pills."

So, I took the pills and it worked immediately. Thanks to those anti-addiction pills I got over my addiction to those pills.

And it's going great to. As long as I take a pill every six hours I don't have to worry. A pill every six hours and I'll never give in to my addiction again.

Man, those pills are just fantastic.

Pills (con't)

I went to the doctor today for the Old Once Over.

I didn't want to go. I feel great. I look great (I recently lost a ton of weight). But my Mother insisted I go for a check up, so I went.

I told the doctor about my Great Successes battling my addictions, but he didn't seem very enthusiastic.

The doctor said I was going to die, soon, if I didn't start eating and drinking again.

I said, "Don't worry about that doc, I've given up death too!"

Pills

Today I took a pill. I put it in my mouth, threw in a slug of water and swallowed the whole works.

I felt better immediately. Just knowing I had taken a pill made me feel better.

The pills are for counteracting addiction. If you take one of these pills you won't Take anything else. You won't Need anything else.

I've been taking them for a while now and they're working great. I stopped smoking cigarettes. I stopped drinking coffee. I even stopped drinking.

I stopped eating too.

Those were the most difficult addictions to give up--food and water--but these pills really work great.

Meet Tom

Tom's a peeper!

He likes looking in my window.
He likes looking in your window, too.

Tom's not from around here.
He's not from around lots of places.
And there's lots of other places he's not allowed around.

Temptation

Three little jelly beans.
Sickeningly sweet;
Shiney as Hell.

What harm would it do?
What could possibly go wrong?
If I eat just three little jelly beans.

Sweet Dreams

I was tired, but I couldn't sleep,
So I went for a walk.
I was wearing my favourite PJs,
The red ones with the western motif.

I walked past the movie theatre and the liquor store.
Past the Mac's Milk, the video store and 24-hour gas station.
I walked right out of town.
Then I walk right out of there too.

I was lost.
I was in Parts Unknown.
I was in Hell Without a Guide.
I was wet from head-to-toe.

It was very muddy and cold.
It seemed unusual to me,
To be as wet as I was.
I was really, really, soaking wet.

There were many fish floating around.
The fish were talking a lot.
Really, it was a nonstop babble,
A cacophony of fishy voices.

The fish were telling me many things.
Things about my life.
Things I didn't want to heard.
Things that fish shouldn't know.

So I left.
I went back home.
I got into bed.
I fell asleep.

Sweet dreams.