Pure Spring

Pure Spring Ginger Ale,
where have you gone?

Ottawa's refreshing, dry soda pop
has disappeared with out fanfare
and virtually no record.

All you can get now
is vintage a can, from 1952,
that you can buy for ninety bucks.

Roller Skates

I really, really like roller skating.
Once I had a car, but I pawned it, to buy roller skates.

I really, really like roller skating.
Once I had a house, but I pawned it, to buy roller skates.

I really, really like roller skating.
Once I had a family, but I pawned them, to buy roller skates.

G. I. Joe

Poor G. I. Joe--he's got no thumbs.

They were blown clean off when he tried to play a non-licensed mp3 on his iPod.

Charcoal Barbecue

Before the screen door factory closed,
we used to go down to the Dairy Queen,
almost every Friday night.

I lived in a frozen dreamland of hope
and whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

Before the screen door factory closed,
we used to go the drive-in movie theatre,
and watch movies, on Saturday nights.

I lived in a world of triple-features and warm beer
and french fries from the concession stand.

Before the screen door factory closed,
we had a home and a charcoal barbecue,
and a yard, were we'd sit on warm evenings.

I sat in lawn chairs and barbecue smoke
and smiled and waved to the neighbours.

Before the screen door factory closed,
the phone would ring and I would answer it,
and it wasn't the bank, and I'd sleep all night.

Life was peaceful, and it would go on forever,
and we would never have to change.

Before the screen door factory closed,
Life was good.

Nicknames

These are some nicknames:

• Gibby


• Gilj


• Chops


• Johnny Hell


• Lynx


• Dirty Daddy

X (finale)

How was that for lazy?

X (con't)