Secret Coded Message 2 (1/3)

Sgga, q ltquxss!

Top Three

The top three items on this list are:

1. 1.


2. 2.


3. 3.

Umm, Like...

"So, like, where do you go when you want to rebel against our parents' generation?"

"Well, I got a totally sweet piercing at the Bayshore Shopping Mall yesterday!"

"Yeah, Bayshore is, like, so open late!"

"I know and the food court is great!"

Wrong Address

Today I went outside and got the morning newspaper.

I sat down to read it.

When I opened it, this note fell out:

There also was an envelope containing an I-assume-freshly severed ear.

Trying to prove they're serious, I guess.

...

Anyway, I wasn't worried because I don't even have a son.

So I threw all that crap in the garbage and just read the paper and drank my coffee.

I guess I should have found out who was supposed to get it and stuff, but I just didn't feel like it.

...

I'm just never really sure what I'm supposed to do, when I get other people's mail.

Ninjas

"Ninjas are masters of disguise and have ninja-like reflexes. So, it's imperative that you are very careful around ninjas."

"But, how do you know when there are ninjas around?"

"You don't know. You have to be careful all the time!"

"Umm..."

"If you ever see half-a-dozen ninjas, it's because they want you to!"

"Uhh..."

"And there'd probably be another half-a-dozen hiding nearby. Very nearby."

"Hey, umm, i...."

"What?"

"Is that a ninja?"

* looks around *

"Where?"

Nachos

As far as plates of nachos go,
it was one greasy-assed son of a bitch.

Even between the two of us,
we could not finish it.

We tried.

What was left,
were craggy mountains,
capped with huge cheese flows
and surrounded by pristine lakes of oil.

It sat on the table for a while
before it was taken away;
unceremoniously dumped in the garbage,
amongst the relics of other dinners.

The Gap (finale)

Is there a point in filling the Gap in Time?