Wrong Number

I had fourteen wrong-number calls today.

Fourteen!

I mean, I know that Strangers exist, but why do They have to throw it in my face like that?

Lists (more)

This is a list:

12	Elephants
3	Tables
78	Red Bananas
1	Single Point in Time;the worse moment of your life
10	Wonderful Times, that more than make up for it

Venice

One hot afternoon in Venice I sat in a cafe, by a stinking canal, watching the girls go by. I wish I was back there now.

As I sat there, a group of twelve gondolas floated by.

The waitress asked, "What would you like the drink?"

"Twelve Bud Lights, " said one of the gondolas.

...

They laughed as they floated away, sipping their beer.

"What a silly hat that fellow is wearing, " said one gondola to another.

I turned as red as my fez, but refused to remove it--what do I care what a dozen boats think?

Sea Horse

Sleek, powerful, delicious--just a few of the many adjectives that come to mind when you think Sea Horse.

From the Wikipedia article Seahorse:

A seahorse has highly mobile eyes to watch for predators and prey without moving its body. Like the leafy sea dragon, it also has a long snout with which it sucks up its prey.

[Editor's note: All seahorse look exactly like the above picture. It's true so don't bother looking it up!]

Onion Rings

Sleek, powerful, delicious--just a few of the many adjectives that come to mind when you think Onion Ring!

Golden brown rings glisten.
Sunlight through greasy windows,
Crisp green uniforms.

Secret Coded Message

Secret Coded Message:

- .... .- - / .-- .- ... / .--. .-. . - - -.-- / . .- ... -.-- .-.-.-

What's for Dinner?

If it come down to This...
..try to get a Big Piece; and hope that it's Tender.