A Gridle Full of Sausages

The old Griddle Full of Sausages!

They taste even better, when they are cooked, and eaten, outdoors.

An Ode to My Eggroll

My Egg Roll is long and golden.
Glowing red under the buffet heat lamps,
My Egg Roll waits patiently,
Ready to fulfill it's purpose.

Second and Subsequent Chances

Gerald has the Opportunity of a Lifetime. He is going to get to Do It Over.

He is going to Do It Differently, this time.

He Can't Lose!

...

Gerald can't resist.

He isn't weak, he's Just Human.

Even with foreknowledge, Gerald just can't resist.

Gerald is making the Same Old Mistakes (and their just as much fun a last time).

Those Crazy Monkey Days

I was just hitting the keys randomly. But every time I finished a page I found that I had produced, a variation of, a story about a bunch monkeys.

There were variations where the monkeys smoked, wore jackets, had hats, spoke French, and all kinds of other things--but every time they had typewriters.

In the stories the monkeys were all typing madly on the typewriters.

They had a deadline.

They were required to write newspaper stories about International Terrorism, for Fringe Newspapers, in order to earn food pellets and bottles of whisky.

My job--in the stories--was to create new Fringe Newspapers and keep the monkeys from fooling around too much.

Maximum Freshness

*STATIC* ...and earn a chance to... *STATIC* ...help... *STATIC* ...our friendly and knowledgeable... *STATIC* ...monkeys... *STATIC* ...achieve maximum... *STATIC* ...freshness, guaranteed!

So, what are You waiting for?

(The Story of) My Brain

Five years ago, a dozen aliens, from another planet, stole my brain.

I asked them, "Are you going to study it, in order to better your understanding of intelligent life forms?"

They just laughed and cooked it up in a stir-fry. They used a recipe they'd learned from "Wok with Yan." A delicious peanut-sauce with chilies.

Initially I was upset (not the least because of the sneaky, underhanded way that got me to sign the waiver form), but after they invited me to join them for dinner, and we talked and laughed together, I forgave them--and even came to love them.

My Poor Toe

I stubbed my toe one hundred times this morning.

One hundred times--and the the same damn toe each time, too!

I mean, I know that cofee tables exist, but why do They have to throw it in my face like that?